Passing a drug test… At one point or another, most of us have had to take a drug test to get that job we most desperately wanted.
This may not be that big of a deal for some people, but if you’re on this site and reading this article, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you smoke pot and would immediately fail if someone gave you a drug test right this second. Don’t worry though! I’m here to help and educate you on what a drug test looks for and how to pass it with flying colors, mostly green.
What do drug tests look for?
As we all know, marijuana’s main psychoactive chemical is THC. This is what gives you the high (duh). What you may not know though is that drug screenings actually look for the by product of our body processing the THC. After you pee into that cup, those rocket scientists will be looking for THC metabolites in your urine. Primarily THC-COOH. There is a certain amount of these metabolites that are acceptable to have and still pass the drug test. So the real trick here then is knowing how much THC metabolites are in your system and how much you can have when taking the test.
How long does THC stay in my system?
THC metabolites get processed out of your system every seven days. This means every week you’ll have half of the amount that you initially had. That’s barring that you haven’t still been smoking for seven days. This does depend also on how often you smoke and how much you weigh, but seven days is about the average. So basically if you didn’t smoke for about a month the THC metabolites would mostly be out of your system and you would pass your test… but find me one person that wants to stop smoking for a month and we can stop this article right here………..That’s what I though. There are plenty of ways to dilute the amount of metabolites in your urine.
How to pass the treaded drug test!
Okay, so the magic number these pee engineers are looking for is 50 mg/ml of THC metabolites. As long as you can get your urine to that perfect number you’ll be fine. Now the question is, How?
Clearly the drug testing place will be looking for diluted urine, so we’ll have to keep that in mind. However there are ways to cover up diluted urine and make it seem like it’s your regular old stream. Let’s start first with the diluting process. Water is the primordial soup for urine dilution. Now don’t go crazy and start chugging water immediately, you can literally die from drinking too much water… Plus water only dilutes your pee for the time being, so really there’s no point to it.
The day before your test you should drink 3-4 liters of water throughout the day and then on the day of drink about 1.5-2 liters of water a few hours before your test. This will maximize the dilution of the urine and also make it so you definitely won’t kill yourself with water. So now what do we do about the diluted urine? Clearly the lab guys will be able to see right through your attempt to pass. Puns anyone? Seriously though your pee is going to be colorless and lacking creatine. Easy fix though, just take some vitamin B and creatine.
Vitamin B makes your urine yellow and the most effective types are either B-2 or B-12. Try taking at least 50-100 mg of this stuff several hours before the test. Same with the creatine considering it only has a half-life of three hours. Be generous and take an above average serving of the creatine as well.
With all that said and done, remember two other things. Avoid exercise at least a day before the test. Remember we said THC is fat soluble and you don’t want a bunch of the metabolites surging out into your system. Also when you’re peeing into the cup, remember to get the pee in the middle of your stream. It will contain the least amounts of the metabolites. Good luck on your test!
What about hair tests?
Ahh yes… we almost forgot about those even more dreaded hair tests. These tests are a little more difficult to pass but there are methods that work. One that I have personally seen work is called the macujo method. Here’s a link to a site that reviews and goes through the process and steps of the method in more detail.
It’s a bit of a process but its definitely worth it. remember to put some conditioner in your hair afterwards because it drys it out pretty intensely.